So as long term readers will know from a previous post, I used to be a dancer. For 15 years I trained in ballet and at ten and fourteen years old I auditioned for the Royal Ballet. Both times I was unsuccessful, thanks for asking. But those years of training left me with some very specific problems. And I think they’re all things that other dancers whether former or current will relate to.

I tried to explain something to Dan a few weeks ago about what it was like to walk into an otherwise empty village hall, music playing, and to resist the temptation to dance and fill the space, so this list is all the things I’ve discovered that only fellow dancers will have noticed about day to day life.

  • Any song you like creates it’s own choreography in your head
  • Large empty rooms, with any amount of floor space just have to be danced in
  • You can wear high heels for all of 45 seconds before your feet go numb and it feels just like pointe class
  • Clicking ankles or toes in any situation is completely normal, as are the worried faces of those around you listening to it
  • You only count in terms of 5, 6, 7, 8
  • Messy buns don’t exist – they are perfect at all times and anything less is an abomination
  • Any form of exercise other than ballet can be made into ballet if you simply turn your feet out
  • Body suits are not body suits, they are leotards and they’re for class time only

  • You can sew but only because you had to sew ribbons on shoes or darn the end of your pointes
  • Blisters are an annoyance and nothing more
  • Nothing will solve bleeding feet and stuck tights like a salt bath
  • Toe pads aren’t worth the money
  • Homework comes a close second to dance class
  • The day you realise you can no longer get your nose to your knees is the day your soul dies a little
  • You’re convinced now you no longer dance that you’d have made the best dancer since Fonteyn
  • You carry plasters everywhere… just in case

There’s people reading this post who are thinking ‘what the hell is this’ and there are plenty of others I know who are nodding in agreement to most, if not all of the above. But if you know, you know! If you have any that you’d add to this list then I’d love to hear them!

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