Oh Christ, I’m single again.
Hell yeah, being single is the greatest!
Oh God, the nights are the worst.
A new dawn, a new day! New life!
No one loves me. Including my cats.
Woo! Girls nights out! No men allowed!
This void in my soul is really quite uncomfortable.
This is the internal, and in my case external, struggle of being newly single. I dumped Chef nearly two weeks ago. He didn’t even acknowledge the message I sent, but I know he read it. But, if you’re going to be that cowardly that you’d ghost a girl who put her life on hold for you then why waste time pining? It wasn’t until I sat down to plan this week’s post that it hit me and I got a bit upset. Until that point, I’d just been so angry that I hadn’t really processed what it all means. It means that I am now a single woman… again.
If I’m honest, the fact that he ghosted me after all I’ve done for him has helped me so far. I took back what little control I could by breaking up with him, and, riding high off the euphoria that brought me, I threw myself into my new single life. I secured my first two brand collaborations, I joined Forces Pen Pals, and began chatting to service men all over the world. I’ve met some really amazing guys; guys I wouldn’t have ever connected with had I not been so angry at my own stupidity. And I feel stupid because once again, I put my life on hold for someone else, and I made plans for their life, not my own.
So now I’ve recovered from my moment of being sad about it, I actually feel really positive. I know I’ve met people in the last 2 weeks or so that will be friends of mine for many years to come. There’s a couple of truly gorgeous guys as well, and there’s one who is actually sending me old fashioned letters, which is amazing! I love snail mail. Having an old-school Pen Pal is one of my favourite things. I’m so excited for his first letter to arrive.
I suppose the thing is, once you decide not to wait for people, not to endlessly sit and watch the days tick by, you suddenly find that there’s a world full of amazing people and opportunities out there. I’m going to be single until I find someone incredible, and while I’m doing that, I’m going to focus on making my life on Skye the best I possibly can. I’m not moving off this island for anyone but myself; I won’t be giving up my time and energy planning and hoping that people come around to my way of thinking anymore. Quite simply, I’ve had enough of being a pushover. 2016 is going to be a good year for me… January has just been a momentary blip. I’m excited to see what’s next!