“It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces” – Bridget Jones’ Diary
I’m almost 100% sure that every woman on the planet can relate to today’s post. I’ve dubbed it ‘The Bridget Jones Conundrum’ because, let’s face it, that woman hit the nail on the head more times than I’ve had hot dinners. Helen Fielding was simply writing the most relateable, lovable and real character in literary history. She and Bridget knew that when something in a woman’s life goes incredibly well, another part of it will suffer, like fate taunting you with a few weeks of the most perfectly balanced life and then snatching it away like some really bad joke. This has just happened to me.
Just before Christmas, my life was frighteningly positive looking. I had two jobs that I thoroughly enjoyed, my social life was on the climb, I’d been given a pay rise in my PA job and Chef and I were getting along famously, making plans of all kinds for the future.
Three days ago, happy in my newly well-rounded bubble of existence, Chef disappeared. He stopped texting, stopped calling; he was just… Gone. I waited all day for any contact from him and by 6pm I gave up and text him first. He claimed he wasn’t ignoring me and had just been busy. But the next day, nothing. Again. And so it’s been ever since. I text him once the first day of silence to say that if he needed space that was fine, I’d be here for him to talk to when he was ready, and didn’t even get a reply. Then last night I had a few drinks and text him asking if he was ready to talk… Nothing.
We haven’t fallen out, I haven’t pissed him off, nothing seems to have sparked this sudden silence – it just happened out of the blue and I have no idea why. It’s driving me absolutely mad though. Did I do something wrong without knowing it? Was it something I said, or something I didn’t say? Could it be something so awful that’s going on with him that he just can’t find the words for me? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
I spoke to a friend about it and she said that men do this, they shut down for almost no reason. That may very well be true, I don’t know, but Chef and I have always had a very open and honest way of communicating. Until three days ago we told each other everything, even if we felt like we shouldn’t because, as he said to me once “I’m not sure I should tell you the things I do, but I do because I want to. And every day you’re still there”.
Now, I don’t know much about other guys, but Chef tells me all the darkest parts of himself and we’ve always been able to talk about anything and everything. So my personal ‘Bridget Jones Conundrum’ is why he’s suddenly just cut me off without even so much as an apology. I don’t know if we’re still together, I don’t know if I’m single now, I don’t know what to do about our anniversary in February, his brother’s wedding in March, or what to say when people ask me how it’s going between us. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been hung out to dry. Do I wait a little longer to see what happens or do I just give it up for done and start the painful process of moving on from a relationship and a man I’m not ready to give up on?