Today I have to bullet my entire day, so this post will be published later than usual, and will be so boring that I’ll maybe lose followers, but I’m trying really hard to be disciplined with this list now I’m over half way.

  • 06:30 – alarm goes off. Switch on heater. Go back to sleep.
  • 07:30 – alarm goes off. Unplug phone from charger, tuck under pillow. Go back to sleep.
  • 07:45 – alarm goes off. Sit up in bed and wonder why life must be so difficult. Go back to sleep.
  • 08:00 – alarm goes off. Mother phones to make sure I’m awake. Lie to her. Go back to sleep.
  • 08:15 – alarm goes off. I don’t need a job, I can live off the land. Go back to sleep.
  • 08:30 – alarm goes off. Sit up. Say good morning to cats. Wonder why the universe hates me.
  • 08:45 – roll out of bed, dress, brush teeth, slam my face into my makeup drawer. Observe results. That’ll do.
  • 09:00 – arrive at work. Make tea. Drink tea too quickly. Miss tea.
  • 10:00 – make tea. Have chat with colleague about Northern Lights that were visible everywhere on Skye last night, except where we live (bloody cloud).
  • 10:30 – receive message from friend on Facebook asking me to watch her shop for her this afternoon while she’s at a meeting. Spend an hour talking about scaring her fiance into not losing his shop keys anymore.
  • 11:30 – smoke break. Stand as far away as possible from creepy old man who drinks beer at 11:30 on a weekday, as he waits for the bus. Try not to make eye contact.
  • 11:32 – wind blows hair into cigarette. Faint smell of burning, hair knocks ash loose and it goes in my eye. Karma for judging Alcoholic Bus Stop Man.
  • 11:45 – make tea. Sweet nectar of the Gods, how I’ve missed you.
  • 13:00 – finish work and head home for lunch. Feed cats, feed self, make tea.
  • 14:00 – arrive at shop, force friend to stop for lunch. Catch up with essential and sensitive gossip. Discuss one of her many wedding dresses or other plans.
  • 14:30 – alone in the shop. Set up laptop, gather cleaning things, clean one glass cabinet, get interrupted by customers. Abandon cleaning in favour of staying out of customer’s way.
  • 14:45 – make tea. Continue cleaning glass. Try to avoid awful neighbours who have serious control issues.
  • 16:00 – after busy spell serving customers, realise I very desparately need to pee. Pee, make tea, consider the notion that maybe my weak bladder is due to the amount of tea I drink. Dismiss notion as bullshit theory and enjoy tea.
  • 17:30 – finish work. Head home, jeans off, leggings on, bra off, hoody on, finally feel human.
  • 19:00 – dinner. Shower and hairwash. Watch Netflix.
  • 20:30 – feed cats, change into comfy pyjamas, more Netflix.
  • 00:00 – realise I should have been in bed an hour ago. Watch one more episode of Dexter on Netflix.
  • 01:00 – bed.

Honestly, looking at a typical day in bullet points, I’m not at all surprised I acheive nothing in my life. I should really do something about that, after Dexter though…


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